| Author | How to mock a cop 101 |
|---|
Ask him what he is doing out so late.
Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to “spice up” your takeout.
Draw happy faces on all the pages in his ticket book.
Ask if his bulletproof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting.
Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy ride.
When he ask you for your licence say, “Oh sure officer, could you just hold my beer.”
Explain speeding with, “See officer, I was driving along when I dropped my bag of crack. I tried to pick it up but, when I did, my gun fell and jammed my foot against the gas pedal.”
When he walks up to you have the radio full blast, look forward without saying a word and breathe in and out very loudly.
When he ask you to walk the straight line, “Riverdance” instead.
When he asks you to say your alphabet backwards count backwards from ten instead.
Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
Tell him you wanted to be a cop but decided to graduate high school instead.
Try to bribe him with chucky cheese tokens.
Try to bribe him with one-dollar bills. When he declines, remind him that “with 10-10-220 you can get all calls up to twenty minutes for 99 cents.”
Take his nightstick and play whack-a-mole with his head.
Pay all your ticket fines with pennies.
Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself.
When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say “I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop.”
Ask him how many donuts he can eat in one minute. Ask him to prove it.
Say to him, “Don’t cheek the trunk. Nope, nothing in there.
Scout’s honor.”
When he asks you to explain why you were going so fast, tell him that you were going to Dunkin’ Donuts and you know he’ll understand.
When the cop is talking to you, ignore him and roll your window up and down while looking amazed that it does that.
Ask him if you can play cops and robbers.
Call his dog Admiral, regardless of what its real name is.
Throw the cop’s nightstick and tell Admiral to go fetch.
Tell him that the wee little leprechauns made you do it.
When he tries to open the door taunt him by locking the door when he tries to open it, then unlocking it when he looks away. Repeat this several times.
When he walks up to your car-put your hands on your face and mutter, “If I don’t see you I can’t get a ticket.”
When he tells you to put your hands on the hood, walk to his car and put your hands on his hood.
Say to him “Darn, you must of been goin’ realluy fast to keep up with me!”
Tell him you were testing to law of perpetual motion when the escape vector was off causing Philbin’s law to take effect…
When he asks you to touch your nose, poke yourself in the eye and start acting like Curly from the Three Stooges.
Keep his pen.
If they put you in the back of the squad car, sing, “Mary
Had a Little Lamb” loudly and obnoxiously over and over all the way to the Police Dept.
Instead of pleading the fifth admendment plead the 13th or the 18th Instead.
Say “Could you tighten these cuffs? My hands don’t hurt yet.” |
| O_o |
| O_o |
Keep his pen.
This is the only funny one, and coincidentally enough, the only one that wont get you thrown in jail.
Pay all your ticket fines with pennies.
This does not mock the cop; it just makes the clerks at the court office, secretary of state, or which ever department handles traffic tickets in your state; very very unhappy. |
| lol stop critisicing -_- you suck at it quite frankly |
| hilarious |
for DeasprateDesire:
He doesnt at all just stating the obvious |
lol stop critisicing -_- you suck at it quite frankly
Apparently I don't if you felt the need to say something about it ;) |
| Im commeting since u suck so much lol |
| just wait till a real life cop posts here :P |
| he/she is going to give you a good talking to XD |
hehe funny
On thursdays im a Fed (see my profile Section 3 lol) :P I cant believe people say i have Mutiple Personality Disorder. lol |
[Post deleted by moderator Shebali // Let's keep it safe then :)]
[Player banned by moderator Shebali until 2009-02-13 09:08:12 // For voicing an opinion which could, or could not have been seen as instigation to flame war :/] |
for Shebali:
I think I've gotten to him enough :) It's one thing to give an opinion, it's another to try and instigate a flame war o_O; |
It's humour, whether it is up to your high standards ipslne or not, have a laugh, or not. Maybe post some of your amazing jokes so we can laugh with you?
By the way kids, don't try this at home unless you are looking to receive some police brutality. Have a laugh while you are on your compys! |
I was not denouncing his post... only presenting my opinion. Perhaps it was my mistake that I didn't clarify by saying "This is the only one I thought was funny..." as well as leaving out the second part of my comments.
Besides, is it really my fault for my comments being misconstrued as criticism? I realize I have oft critical of certain posts... but only because they display ignorance or an unwillingness to come to a solution of a problem or to agree to disagree. This thread falls under neither of those categories and I acknowledge it's purpose is for humor. If my standards are seen as high, than so be it. We all have our opinions and there is no reason to denounce others.
Apparently I don't if you felt the need to say something about it ;)
As for this comment, I simply enjoy getting someone worked up over something they don't understand. It is all in good humor though (hence the smiley at the end) and if the irked party can't come to terms with that then it's their loss.
And because obviously my comments need clarification all the time; this is not me being defensive... this is me trying to point out that my posts are no longer seen in context and are misunderstood as only criticism.
Also I type way too much when I'm tired. Most of my posts should be tl;dr so I don't see why people bother in the first place lol |
| (''')(o_O)(''') |
If my standards are seen as high, than so be it
I was mocking you. And where better to do it than a joke thread lol |
| Hahaha, yeah I just now re-read that post. Man I was being defensive. 36 hours of being awake is bad time to be posting in threads. |
36 hours? Are you an elf, or the living dead? Maybe you should be a necromancer..
I too am hopelessly addicted to the fun and times within the game. Party on! or sleep, for the party of the weekend is about to begin :cheers: :sword: |
