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| Author | Jokes !!! |
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Then he came over to me and he said, 'How you feeling?'"
Awesome punchline :D | | @660 : One of the best jokes XD | Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a
bull so that they can breed their own stock. They hear about a bull for sale
in Abilene and decide the brunette sister will drive out to check
out the animal. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it
home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a telegram telling my sister that I've bought a bull
and I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here
so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad
to help her, then adds, "It's just $.99 a word." Well, after paying for the
bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After
thinking for a few minutes, she says, "I want you to send her the word
'comfortable'." The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever
going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the
word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it
slowly: com - for - da - bul." | A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
The driver thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license." The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smart butt when he's drunk and stoned." The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!" At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" | ^ both are nice
A small joke for those understand Hindi ;)
How would a south-indian women say "I laughed yesterday" in hindi ?
.
.
"Michael Hussey" :P | Q: why did the belt get locked up?
A: cos he held up a pair of pants | One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
A week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?" The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.
Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!" | | Yeah Yeah, Keep them coming. I love this thread :D | | My bad luck is so much,If I buy a cemetery then people will stop dying | | 669/... rofl | | [Post deleted by moderator ElfPride // inappropriate for children] | Ramesh : I heard u failed in
English?
.
.
Simran : Who TELLED you? It is
unpossible..
I sawed d result ystrday... I
Passed away... | its real and recent
Champions Trophy 2013 Final, Edgbaston, England
Background:-
The match is nearly washed and finally reduced to 20 over a side. India has tremendous support in the crowd, with full Punjabi music and more fans than the home team. The pitch at Edgbaston is surprisingly turning square and assisting the Indian spinners like a day 5 subcontinent pitch.
In the commentary box :-
Naseer Hussain:
It is England but India has more support in the stadium, and the pitch is completely assisting your spinners. Says a lot about our hospitality, right.
Harsha Bhogle:
Well.. we let you rule our nation for so many years. I believe that's the least you can do for us.
Naseer Hussain speechless! | | for Stupefy: rofl XD | | 672 > Good One :D | | A grey goose walks into a bar and says "I'd like a scotch on the rocks." The bartender looks at the goose funny, but goes to get him his drink anyway. The bartender continues to look at the goose so the goose asks, "Hey, what's your deal? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" The bartender says, "Besides the fact that you are a talking goose? Well I actually have a drink named after you" The grey goose replies, "You have a drink named Ron?" | | Visitors are requested not to pluck any flowers or trees | 673:
Lol | A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?" He said: "Call for backup." | | Yesterday I was in the elevator,when a beautiful girl stepped in too.She was talking on her cellphone."Ok,I have to go there is a cute guy in the elevator".Before I could react,she turned back and said,"Sorry,I said that to get off the phone"...I avoid elevators now. |
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