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| Author | Jokes !!! |
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Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addresses Al first."
Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies,
"Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs
and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says
"Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton.
"Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill Clinton replies,
"Well, I believe in power to the people.
I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one
should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says
"Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then address Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe?"
Bill Gates said, "I believe you're in my chair." | | + | -Short Funny Sayings-
UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!
43% of all statistics are useless.
Write all complaints legibly in this space -> []
Is that seat saved? No, but we're praying for it!
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence. | A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon as wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama ... he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother. | | for navimegaman: :) | Cold jokes...
Long time ago, theres a people always forget things.One day, he lost his handphone and went to search,he start from the first floor of the flat to the highest floor,but he still cant find hit.So,he sadly take out his handphone and send message to his mother"Mum,i just lost my handphone:("...... | | A recent comment"Don't sing at your bathroom while bathing,because everyone will think you are playing with yourself! | for Acron:
I dont get it..... :/ | for matrix:
It's because people normally only sing when they're happy, and there's really only one reason a guy would be happy in the bath ;) | | oh ok thx | teacher:In which state does the missisippi river flow?
student in liquid state. | | a socail studies teacher asks a student where the decleration of independence was signed the student said at the bottom. | If i
Kould kill
Eels,
Erm....
Lets just say...
Yea... i can kill em and..
Ouch that kinda hurts if u let em bitecha.... &
U are a.. *SENSORED* for reading this.
Read all capital letters, besides "*SENSORED*" | -It's been made a study and people should sleep with their windows open.
-You should be a researcher, isn't it?
-No, I'm a burglar.
-----------------
-Hey, what is "Chess"?
-Well, "Chess" is those pieces we put in the bag when we play backgammon. | up.
did you hear about the riot in the library someone found dynamite in the dictionary | what food best decribes a man?
jerky | what did the lawyer name his daughter?
sue | why do women wake up with a pea sized brain?
because it swells up over night | what did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater?
thats the most violent book ive ever read | what do you do when a blonde throws a grenade?
you pull the pin then throw it back |
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