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| Author | Jokes !!! |
|---|
| [Post deleted by moderator Kiz // Repeat post #296] | | ha ha ha | | nice one :D | this story does not connected to the living or the dead 1:
a chinese went to a bar... and... Steven Spielberg is there!
the famous director.
he sat beside him and order a milk.
suddenly. Steven Spielberg punch him at the face
chinese: WTF are u doing!!!
Spielberg: u attack Pearl Harbour... my grandmother die there!
chinese: it was the JAPANESE!!!
Spielberg: arghh! japanese, korean, chinese! u r all the same!!!
then everything comes back calm
then the chinese punch steven spielberg in the face.
Spielberg:Why u did that!
chinese: u cause the Titanic ship to sunk! my gr8 grandma is there.
Spielberg: It sunk becoz of iceberg!!!
chinese: arghh! iceberg, carlsberg, spielberg! u r all the same!!! | | nice | Whats Sharp yellow and dangerous .....
Shark infested Custard :D | Whats Sharp yellow and dangerous .....
Shark infested Custard :D
??? | | I didn't get it also.. | what do you call a jewish persons boobs?
joobs | What would u call a Indian man in red blanket?
KitKat | Here's a joke to say if your friends exclaim:
Oh my God!
Oh God!
For God's sake!
Simply reply by saying,"You called me?" or "For my sake?"
For those who believe in God, this is not an insult to Him. If He is so almighty and wondrous and all-capable, shouldn't He also have a pretty good sense of humor? So, He shouldn't feel insulted and should be chuckling up in heaven. | | for joechue: not a good joke :( | | Hey, at least it's better than NecroTime's or navimegaman's. | | Cmon guys no jokes?
i will give one
My name's igles ha ha ha
well here is the real joke
2 cats were fighting over a piece of just when a monkey passed by
and he went away without even looking at them | Here's a joke .
7 Cats were at sea. When one jumped out of the boat , the others followed.
Why?
Because they were all copy cats. | Mister,
I'm honored to confirm you that I received your letter from 12th of April, through which you ask me, for the third time, to retrieve the money I own to you. I would want you to know that I don't deny this debt and I have the intention to pay it as soon as possible. On the other side, I have many more creditors which, as honorable as you, want me to pay their lent money back. Because the sum allocated by me, monthly, to my lenders is limited, every month I designate through draw one of you to which I am going to return the money back.
I dare to hope, mister, that your name will be the winner as soon as possible.
I please you to accept, mister, my greetings along with all my consideration.
P.S. Due to the fact that your last letter was written in an aggressive and violent language, I announce you, with my regrets, that you will not participate in the next draw. | | oh snap, everyone in debt should send this letter to their banks XD | for TBI:
#287
this has been posted earlier in post#18
3 travelers went to a forest,
when suddenly they were ambushed by barbarians.
they got captured and taken to face the barbarian chief.
the traveler begged to the chief to release them.
the chief kindly tell them to find 10 fruits in the forest.
the fruits must be the same, so for example, 10 oranges, 10 pears, etc.
the travelers went to the forest, finding for fruits.
the first traveler came back, along with 10 apples.
the chief told the traveler to swallow the apples,
but they're not allowed to munch them,
so they have to eat as a whole fruit.
they're also not allowed to make noises, like speaking or crying.
if they can finish the task, they'll be released.
but if they can't, their head will be cut off.
the first apple is swallowed, second, third...
but when the forth, he screamed that he can't take it anymore
then his head was cut off because of screaming.
the second traveler came back too, along with 10 grapes.
he swallowed the first, second, third, forth,
fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth...
however, when he just want to swallow the last one,
he laughed at the third traveler loudly when the third traveler came back,
so his head was cut off because of laughing.
in the heaven, the first and the second traveler met each other:
A:"hey, looks like you've failed the task too, huh.."
B:"yeah... what did you take?"
A:"i took 10 apples, it just too hard... what about you?"
B:"i see... i took 10 grapes..."
A:"hey, grapes are small! how could you fail?"
B:"actually, i could swallow the last grape, but i couldn't help but laughing out loud, watching C came back with 10 watermelons..." | An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the
World.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China .
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he
Noticed a golden telephone
mounted on the wall with a sign that read
'$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what
The telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for
$10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan ... There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the
Same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and
He asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000
He
Could talk to God.
' O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France ...
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000
Per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to
See if Indians had the same phone.
He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there
Was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read
'One
Rupee per call.'
The American was surprised so he
asked the priest about the sign.
'Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden
Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to
Heaven,
But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?'
Readers, it is your turn.......... Think .....before you scroll down...
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The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in India now, Son - it's a
Local
Call'.
This is the only heaven on the Earth.
KEEP SMILING
If you are proud to be an Indian pass this on!!!
Enjoy |
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