| Author | Jokes about Vovochka :) |
|---|
Dear friends,
In this topic I will publish my translations of very popular kind of Russian jokes and anecdotes about Vovochka.
First of all, let me introduce this character. It's a fictional boy about the age of ten, maybe eleven, who would be similar to other kids of his age. However, Vovochka likes swearing and has an advanced knowledge in sexuality and all related fields - features that most jokes about him are centered around. |
A neighbor (grumpy old woman) meets Vovochka, going home after school.
- How are you, Vovochka?
- Fine.
- How do you do in school?
- Fine.
- How is your health?
- Fine.
- Listen... do you have words other than "fine" in your lexicon??
- Well.. - replies Vovochka, - my Dad said you can't tell to [censored] off to adults. |
During a lesson in school the teacher asks pupils:
- Children, do you know that giving is always better than taking?
Vovochka says: My Dad always does that.
- Wow! - says the teacher. - Your Dad is probably a very decent person!
- My Dad? He's a boxer. |
| Lol |
Teacher in math class:
- So, kids... How much will be 2 + 4? Vovochka, answer please.
Vovochka is taking his time, scratching his back, and hesitates to answer.
- What's the problem? - says the impatient teacher. - You should know that 2 + 4 = 6.
- Yesterday you said, that 3 + 3 = 6 and now you are trying to convince us that 2 + 4 = 6. I don't know what to believe anymore. |
During the TV show "Millionaire" adopted for kids the following question pops up:
"What of the following things does not belong here? A - carrots; B - onions; C - potatoes; D - Lexus".
- Carrots, onions, potatoes - answers Vovochka. |
Early in the morning Vovochka comes to his parents' bedroom's door, thinking to wake them up, but the door is locked.
After watching through keyhole how his parents make love, he goes back to his own room in anger and despair, thinking: "And these people yet have the right to not let me pick in my nose!!!" |
Vovochka comes to his father and asks him:
- Daddy, what does it mean to be "drunk"?
- See these two trees beyond the window? So.. if I were "drunk" I would see four trees instead of two, - replies the father.
- Okay, Daddy, - says Vovochka, - but there is only one tree out there... |
Soviet school, history lesson. Teacher:
- Children, see this brick I hold in my hand? What are you thinking about when looking at it?
Lenochka: - I think about great deeds of Soviet builders!
Jenechka: - I think about the future perspectives of Communist building in our country.
Vovochka: - I think about girls.
Teacher: - Vovochka, but why??
Vovochka: - I don't know, I always think about girls. |
| Nice ones :D |
| i like the last one.. And i also think vovochka is a funny name :D |
| [Post deleted by moderator Pang // improper content] |
12
xD Excellent one.
Tomorrow I will translate another pack |
| Cool one ! :P i really loved the 6th XD |
| #12 :P LOL |
Vovacka asked his father:
- What is the difference between theory and practice?
Fathers thinks a little bit and says:
- Its simple. Lets go to your mother.
They went to mother.
Father asks:
- Would you slept to another man for a milion dollars?
Mother:
- For a milion dollars sure.
Then they went to Vovacka grandmother
Father asks:
- Would you slept to another man for a milion dollars?
Grandmother:
- For a milion dollars sure.
Then they went to Vovacka sister.
Father asks:
- Would you slept to another man for a milion dollars?
Sister:
- For a milion dollars sure.
Then father asked the same question to Vovachka
- For a milion dollars sure,- replied Vovachka.
Then father explains:
- You see dear son, theoricaly we are millionaires but practically there are three bitches and a faggot in our family |
| #16 hats off :P |
too good!
#12,#16 |
| 16 <3 <3 |
Rides legendary Vovachka taxi with his parents and starts asking questions:
- Mom, Mom, Mom.
Mom - What?
Vovachka: - It you were a giraffe and dad would be a giraffe, so what I'd be so?
Mom - well, perhaps a small giraffe.
Vovachka: - Dad, Dad, Dad.
Dad: - What?
Petya: - If you and mom were hippopotamus, is what I'd be in this?
Dad - probably little hippo.
Already climb necessary, because he came to the place by taxi.
Taxi driver looks at Vovachka and says:
- And what would be if your mom were a bitch, and the father a gay man, then what do you become?
Vovachka scraches head and retorts - probably taxi driver. |
