Forums-->Creative works-->
<<|<|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|>|>>
| Author | Jokes !!! |
|---|
| Nice one dionysus :D | | He he nice one :) | | A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?" | | "So, you want me to stay?" true dat | "Smith, I didn't see you in camouflage training today!"
"Thank you sir" | | 783 and 785> witty one, eh :D | A doctor asked six-year-old Johnny just to make conversation. "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars, what would you buy?”
“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.
“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”
“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars.
With Tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.” | Hubby : Darling years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife : Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it is 1.5ltr. | TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how “I” spell it! | Customer: Hey..give me a litre milk of Cow
Shopkeeper: but your vessel is small
.
.
.
Customer: no problem ..give me milk of Goat | haha..this one's gr8.!
One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.
The fire chief says, “Well, you look like a good guy. I’d be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.”
The fire chief takes the mathematician to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, “OK, you’re walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?”
The mathematician replies, “Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire.”
The chief says, “That’s great… perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you’re walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?”
The mathematician puzzles over the question for a while and he finally says, “I light the dumpster on fire.”
The chief yells, “What? That’s horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?”
The mathematician replies, “Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I’ve already solved.” | Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to Susan's place along the coast road and had a sudden puncture. The car skidded and rolled over. Only a small tree kept me from sliding over a cliff and falling 500 feet. I managed to crawl out of the car only one second before the tree snapped and the car fell over the cliff. I am now in hospital with a broken arm, several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and severe concussion."
Wife: "Who is Susan?" | | @787 , seriously? , lol one of the best jokes i've seen/heard LD | | A deer was trying to cross a busy road but the traffic was very heavy. After waiting unsuccessfully for a few minutes, a bear walked past and said: “Excuse me, there’s a zebra crossing a bit further along the road.” The deer said, “Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am!" | #787 is very good indeed :)
#783 and #792 are kind of sad :( | | #787 nice | The barman says, “We don’t serve time travellers in here.”
A time traveller walks into a bar.
---
This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
---
A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies “No I’m traveling light”
---
A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ?
The logician replies: “yes”.
---
[for those who know networking]
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
I could tell you a joke about TCP, but I’d have to keep repeating it until you got it.
---
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. | for ParaLeul:
Deep ones :D
What is the networking one? Others are great :) | What is the networking one?
They are about different methods of packet transmission.
For UDP, there is no guarantee that the packets arrive at the destination.
For TCP, packets are guaranteed to be received (that's why you need to "get" the joke).
[I personally don't know much about networking. I read once about the difference between UDP and TCP and I remembered that UDP was faster but with less organization (packets may be lost and they don't arrive in the order they are sent), while TCP is not as fast as UDP, but it's more organized. So, correct me if I'm wrong about this joke, but I found it funny with my understanding :)] | Guy1:dude yesterday's party was so awesome!
Guy2:well m surprised u remember anything... U were too drunk!
Guy1:no I wasn't!
Guy2:dude..u congratulated a potato for a role in toy story! |
<<|<|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|>|>>Back to topics list
|
