Forums-->Gratitudes and congratulations-->
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| Author | Mellor becomes a daddy |
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for shubhamgoyal:
However, I am beginning to see that you all do not appreciate my perspective.
It is not about that shubham, There is a time and a place to preach Utilitarian antinatalism and it is most certainly not at your friend’s baby shower. You can freely have this discussion elsewhere and i am sure people would love to participate but here and now you sound weird and offensive and it seems you are somewhat attacking mellor even if you are not. Create another thread and we would be happy to discuss your point of view, but for the love of god stop preaching here.
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Congratulations Mellor here is to years of sleep deprivation and wondrous joy. | Finally, please do consider the impact of words we write in forums. When we disagree with someone by calling them incapable of doing either job well, we are contributing to shutting voices down. Every time we attempt to not understand but rather blame people, we are moving the discussion from the realm of ideas to the realm of accusing people.
I returned to this game after many months. I was enjoying it. But this has been very unpleasant. I can understand that 1 person does not make a difference. And it is possible that I fail to see that I am being completely delusional. But please do not be irresponsible in blaming people for the ideas they have if the ideas are different. You might be contributing to cyber bullying.
I sincerely apologize if you felt bullied by my comment. My intention was to plainly tell you what i felt about your original post and then subsequent vain attempts at explaining yourself. Either way, let's make it bygones :) | I sincerely apologize if you felt bullied by my comment. My intention was to plainly tell you what i felt about your original post and then subsequent vain attempts at explaining yourself. Either way, let's make it bygones :)
Thank you for apologising. It does make me feel better. I accept your apology. Let me try to suggest an alternative approach to say the same thing you wrote in a manner which does not contribute to bullying -
"Shubham, you can go ahead and do what you want to with your life. I have my suspicions on whether you will be able to do either to the best of your capability because you are spending a lot of time writing on the forum. You did not need to explain yourself or talk about what I think are ideals. Also, your posts are not very interesting, perhaps you can make them more fun to read by either being shorter or being in the real world rather than the theoretical ideal world? Also, it seems that you are being cynical. Are you? I hope not because cynicism does not help move the conversation forward. Let us be constructive, shall we?"
Of course, you would have a different writing style VV, and I hope I did not misrepresent what you were trying to say.
There is a time and a place to preach Utilitarian antinatalism and it is most certainly not at your friend’s baby shower.
Igles, I take your point but again, you mention preach. I would request you to not use these words when referring to others' views because they will trigger and upset them, like they did me. You can instead say - I find what you wrote very 'preachy'. It conveys the same meaning but I hope you understand the difference. What you wrote is granting an attribute to what I was doing and making me feel bad. The other is getting the message across that you find it 'preachy' and it does not make me feel bad. In fact, since I do not get triggered by the latter, I will focus more on not making my text 'preachy'.
And I do not subscribe to utilitarian antinatalism. My views are different. It is certainly a failure of what I wrote that this is the conclusion you draw. But your suggestion is very good. I should create a new thread if I want to discuss what my views on childbirth are. This is not the place. I will respect what you wrote and not continue here.
You can freely have this discussion elsewhere and i am sure people would love to participate but here and now you sound weird and offensive and it seems you are somewhat attacking mellor even if you are not.
Can I commend you on this sentence? This gets the message across, does not make me feel bullied and makes me think about why do I sound weird and offensive towards mellor Surely, it must be something I wrote and I should change that. Thank you for writing these words.
Create another thread and we would be happy to discuss your point of view, but for the love of god stop preaching here.
And this is the opposite. I hope I was able to convey why one can contribute to cyberbullying but the other achieves the desired result of making a behaviour change possible.
My first instinct was also that the community is toxic. But I am a part of it and it does not need to be. I have been guilty of rubbing people the wrong way in the past too. I hope that whoever reads this is a little bit more aware and a little bit more considerate. Together, we can make this community and online forums a more welcoming place. | I hope that whoever reads this is a little bit more aware and a little bit more considerate.
Lol, you are being serious? You are preaching that people arent being considerate and are 'cyber bullying' when in reality you are the one who has decided to come to a congratulations thread for the birth of a child and dump a load of negativity about how being a parent isnt worth it? Maybe take a look at yourself before others and next time don't ruin what should be a joyous time and a chance to celebrate?
Wish you all the best Mellor, and for your new bundle of joy :D | Lol, you are being serious? You are preaching that people arent being considerate and are 'cyber bullying' when in reality you are the one who has decided to come to a congratulations thread for the birth of a child and dump a load of negativity about how being a parent isnt worth it? Maybe take a look at yourself before others and next time don't ruin what should be a joyous time and a chance to celebrate?
I hope you read post #24, merlin. I am sorry but I believe what you wrote might be a result of you not reading and understanding what I wrote. Your understanding of what I wrote is wrong. It is possible that what I wrote is not well-written. I will attempt to do better taking in all the feedback here.
But to help you better understand my position, I will summarise that I am not negative about child birth at all. I thank all parents for the sacrifices they make. And I congratulate them on having children if they wanted them. And this goes for mellor too. | Simple point of the fact the thread is to congratulate Mellor, your personal views on childbirth and babies should have never come into it and should have just congratulated Mellor.
Either way it's getting out of control so I'm locking the thread.
My apologies to Mellor that his thread became this. | | closed by death2all (2020-07-27 09:33:01) |
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