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| Author | Quite Awakening (writers note) |
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So many lights of various colors flickering all around.
I'm awake but looking at myself asleep. I'm called a vagrant for actions beyond my control. I...i...what...who am I.
His mind is filled with questions.
"So lost..."
Images rush his head.
There was fire! Fire everywhere! No matter where he was all he saw was fire and yet...familiar.
An image emerges in his head of a basic demon castle and then one of an enemy. A holy knight of basic wealth and fortune. Yet...not enemies. They appear closer than brothers.
"This is me?"
As this thought rushes his head he passes out. The thing is, he is already passed out.
Ever have a dream where your so sleepy you fall asleep in your dream?
"Time!!!"
At that moment everything freezes. | Quite Awakening Did you mean quiet awakening?
An interesting concept but you really should read each passage before pressing post as spelling/grammar mistakes can really detract from the impact and totally change the meaning, e.g. a pitiful figure stirs in a random ally
Also keep in mind proper punctuations, e.g. angels grip is not the same as angel's grip and Holy Knights jaw instead of knight's plus why does it start with a capital (unless his name is "Holy Knights" which would be strange). The light of Hollow's Eve Who is Hollow? and what is his eve? etc..
Just a few examples from very many but just a little checking would greatly increase the readability.
Always good to see some creative works though so keep it up. |
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