| Author | who got jokes? |
|---|
| *insert joke here* |
@ veteran:
lolol, are you a salesperson for Digi? :D
Imagine that, they even got cellphone coverage in the afterlife :) |
Q. How do you save a man from drowning?
A. Take your foot of his head. |
Teacher = Students, what will happen if third world war occur ?
Student = There will be a new chapter in History. |
Two men went to a cinema to watch a movie, they bought two tickets, but why they sit four seats in the cinema?
Ans: Another two are the Digi yellow man! Because they always say "I will follow you"!
p/s: I am not salesman of digi! lol:) |
for Kiz: nope in fact i don't even use Digi i use Maxis :D
just keep on hearing "i will follow you" so many times ahhh |
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor and why do bars have parking lots?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
How do they get deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we’re already there?
If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Q: How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
A: Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. |
| bump |
one of my favorite jokes...
There was once a guy named Fred. Fred had always wanted a horse. He asked his parents to get him one, but they did not have enough room the yard to keep one.
Then Fred grew up. He moved to the country just to ow that horse he wanted. He saw in the paper that there was a horse on sale from the church for a really low price, so he went to buy it.
At the church, the pastor took him to see the horse. it was one of the best horses Fred had ever seen. So he asked the pastor, "I don't mean to suspect a man of God an all, but why are you selling this horse for such a low price?"
The pastor replied, "Well, this horse was trained a little differently. You see, to make the horse go you need to say "Praise the Lord", and to make the horse stop, you need to say "Amen."
Fred thought that that wasn't a big deal, and payed for the horse and set out. The horse was better that he could have imagined. It flew like the wind! Soon though, Fred saw that he was coming up to a cliff. He needed to stop the horse, but poor Fred could not remember the word to stop.
As the cliff grew nearer, he realized that this was the end. He said his final prayer to God, and ended it with an "Amen." Mere inches from the cliff, the horse stopped.
Amazed at his luck, Fred yelled, "Praise the Lord!" |
for ZldaMstr:
lol. |
| A man is driving his car to his hometown. On the way, a lorry driver passed by shout at him. He shout:"Pig!!". The man felt very angry and turn his head back and shouted at the lorry driver:" You are a pig too!!!" Before he turn his head back, his car crashed into a group of pigs that are crossing he roads:) |
| @31: If you tell it like that, it's not very funny :D But if I see it with my own eyes, then it would be hilarious... lolol. Anyways, why would a pig cross the road? xD |
| idiot!!!! xD |
short one...
A mushroom came up to a party being held at someones house. A man came to the door, and said that he couldn't let him in.
The mushroom said , "Come on, I'm a fun-gi (fun guy)"
failure their... it works better told out loud. |
Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here.
Hahahah... that one was funny :) |
One day, ear wax visit tartar
Ear wax : Hello there, how are you?
Tartar : What are you doing here!
LMAO bwahahaha. |
Ok, this is a blonde joke.
A Blonde woman walks into a shop admireing the T.V by the window, so she goes up to the shop owner and says "can I buy the T.V by the window?" and the shop owner says "sorry we don't serve blondes". She was shocked by this but wanted to buy the T.V by the window, so she decided to dye her hair red.
The next day she went to the same store and said to the shop owner "can I buy the T.V buy the window?" and the shop owner said "sorry we don't serve blondes". So she thought how did he know I was a blonde? So she decide to try again with brown hair.
The next day she went to the exact same store and said to shop owner "can I buy the T.V buy the window?" and the shop owner said "sorry we don't serve blondes". So the blonde replied "how did you know I was a blonde?" and the shop owner said "because that T.V by the window is a mircowave".
=D |
[Post deleted by moderator Zyanya // Don't swear.]
[Player banned by moderator Shebali until 2009-02-14 23:15:00 // Swearing] |
Why ban me? didnt say anything offensive... XD just a bump...
bump
[Player banned by moderator Shebali until 2009-02-17 21:11:28 // 1.7. Additional characters are not allowed to leave messages at the "Main forums" sections of the forum.] |
| Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge? |
